As you might know, I’m a huge fan of Danielle LaPorte.
(For those of you who don’t know Danielle, she’s a bestselling author, spiritual seeker, and member of Oprah’s SuperSoul 100).
Many times, her comforting words have touched me at my core. It’s like she understands the depths of my soul and can reflect back exactly what I need to hear on paper.
That’s why I was so excited about her latest book, White Hot Truth: Clarity for Keeping It Real on Your Spiritual Path from One Seeker to Another (available for pre-order now).
The book is all about being true to yourself, even when it’s difficult. It’s about embracing self-improvement and learning from others, but not losing yourself, and never forgetting your own personal power.
As part of her launch, Danielle has invited people to share their own “white hot truth” stories.
Today I’m sharing mine.
My white hot truth…
I was out in the sun in a cute cafe, enjoying oysters and mimosas with a dear friend, who said, “Congrats on crossing the million-dollar mark in your business! What’s your next goal, Selena? How big do you want your business to grow?”
I felt a bit foolish when I told her, “I’m really happy with where my business is right now.” The truth is, I didn’t have any ambitious plans to grow.
My response even surprised me, because I’m hard-wired to push myself. It’s my greatest strength and my greatest weakness.
For me, every day starts at zero. I have this relentless need to “achieve” something each and every day (this includes workdays, weekends, and vacations) in order to feel good about myself. While intellectually I understand I’m worthy just for being me, there’s another part of me that ties my self-worth directly to my accomplishments…and I’m always close to falling short.
Now, I can’t complain too much, because my drive has served me well. It led me to push myself to earn $157k in the first year of my coaching business (despite being an introvert who was terrified of public speaking). The next year, I doubled my business to $315k and the next year, I earned close to $700k. I’m deeply grateful that my revenue and impact continues to grow each year.
Along the way, I joined some incredible masterminds. I learned from amazing mentors. I pushed myself well outside of my comfort zone and tried new things (that made me want to throw up and not get out of bed). I’m so grateful that I did those things anyway. Because if I didn’t make those investments and take those risks, I’d never know my real potential.
But today, I find myself in an interesting place, because I’m not “striving” in the same way I was before. Not only that, but I find myself disagreeing with a lot of conventional wisdom and advice. This includes advice from top experts who I continue to respect and admire to this day.
For example, I don’t believe that every expert, coach, and thought leader needs a continuity membership site (arguably the hottest business model right now). Or to run a free challenge, be active on Instagram or Pinterest, write a book, start a podcast, and post regularly on social media. Why do I say that? Because I don’t do ANY of those things, yet I’ve still managed to build a thriving seven-figure business. In fact, there was a loooong period of time when I didn’t even do any list-building!
I’m so tired of people saying you MUST do X, Y, or Z if you want to be successful. Because the truth is, you don’t have to do any of it. Let’s say you want to travel from where you are to Chinatown. There are an infinite number of ways to get there — by subway, bicycle, private jet, or horse and carriage. It doesn’t matter what mode of transportation you take, as long as you get to the final destination and enjoy the ride along the way. It’s the same with business.
Another piece of well-meaning advice that always makes me cringe is, “You don’t want to be trading dollars for hours!” It’s as if working with people one-on-one is the biggest mistake you could ever make as an entrepreneur. As if it’s the *one thing* holding someone back from their passive income dreams and piña coladas on the beach.
Personally, I’m thankful for the supremely talented rockstar entrepreneurs who make their one-on-one services available to me. I love group programs and they certainly have their place, but where would I be without my amazing team of coaches, consultants, and contractors who share their gifts so generously with me?
I also feel deeply grateful to be offering my one-on-one services to a small group of private clients. I feel so honored to be their trusted advisor. I’m grateful that they confide in me with their biggest dreams. And in the process, my private client work allows me to make a greater impact in the world than I could ever make solely on my own. By elevating my clients’ ideas, message, and story, I’m doing what I consider to be truly “high-leverage” activities, while impacting millions along the way.
As I approach the five-year anniversary mark of my business in June, I can’t help but wonder what’s next for me. What are the new ways I’m meant to help others and make my unique mark in the world?
While there are an infinite number of business opportunities I could consider, I’ve been shy to make any big moves. Because traditional “success metrics” like money and email list size don’t mean as much to me now as they did before. Today I care so much more about alignment and how I feel.
What feels joyful, exciting, and expansive for me? What feels easy and true, that will also allow me to learn and grow?
In the past, I’d look to a business coach or mentor to tell me what to do. I’d spend $10,000 or maybe even $30,000 in search of an answer….
But today, I realize that the only person who really knows what’s right for me is me. Like all of us, I have my own unique set of filters and preferences which help me define what my own version of success and happiness looks like. The answer is not outside of me — it’s within.
It feels weird not be “striving” the way I was before, where doubling my revenue each year was the clearest sign of success. It feels weird to have extra time and space on my calendar — and to exercise the discipline to “keep the space open” while I let what seem like once-in-a-lifetime opportunities pass me by. But that’s what feels most true to me right now.
Keep the space open, keep the space open.
Let go of the good to allow for the great.
To have faith that if I trust with an open heart and make room to receive, the answer will come…