I recently attended a conference for 6 and 7-figure transformational leaders in Santa Cruz, California. Business coaches, relationship coaches, spiritual coaches, etc.

It was amazing! I even got to meet some people I’d admired from afar for years…and I stayed in my room 60% of the time.

A friend of mine asked, “Where were you? Is everything ok?”

In reality, everything was great. I formed some new, meaningful friendships, had thought-provoking conversations, got some game-changing business ideas, and my cup felt full.

You see, participating in 40% of the conference was just the perfect amount for me.

Here’s another way to put it…

Imagine you go to a high-end buffet at the Ritz Carlton. There are trays of delicate sushi, lobster with butter, a rack of prime rib, a risotto station, a chocolate fountain with strawberries and marshmallows, and mini creme brulees.

If you tried to eat all of it, you’d feel sick. By being selective and eating less, you actually enjoy the experience more.

I know there can be pressure to do it all. But it’s up to us to discern what the right amount is for us.

Another example — I joined a super high-level mastermind this summer. My coach, a multiple 8-figure entrepreneur, does Q&A calls every single week. I probably attend 1 out of 6.

Not only that, but the mastermind Facebook group is pretty dead. If I don’t tag anyone in my post, I probably won’t get a response.

But you know what? I love this mastermind.

At one of the live retreats in New York, I asked my coach, “How do you define success in your mastermind?”

I expanded to say, “Is it about how active people are on the calls or in the Facebook group? Is it about the relationships people are forming in the group?”

He said, “Selena, the only thing that matters to me is that people are successful. I don’t care if they participate — as long as they are making money and growing their business, I’m doing my job.”

I was stunned when I heard this.

But as I reflected further, I saw the wisdom of it. I also realized that everyone has different measures of success — and that’s totally ok.

I also thought about how the 7 minutes of conversation I have with my coach on a Q&A call once every 6 weeks was exactly what I needed to move my business forward. In my particular situation, I didn’t need much more.

And now I want to turn it back to you…

Is there an area in your life where you feel guilty for not doing more? Maybe you tell yourself:

  • I haven’t finished creating my online course, and I promised I would this year.
  • All my colleagues are doing challenges, creating videos, on Instagram and I’m not!
  • I should be out there networking, but I’ve just kept to my existing group of friends.

All of that is ok — if you are are ok with it. =)

Now, I don’t want you to misunderstand me here — I do think it’s important to start what you finish, if it’s truly important to you.

And I also think it’s important to challenge yourself, make things happen, and push through discomfort.

But sometimes we hear other people’s voices louder than we hear our own. We have expectations of ourselves that aren’t truly ours. We make ourselves feel guilty for not following through on something that wasn’t really that important (or necessary) in the first place.

Another way of looking at this — you don’t need to eat the entire apple in order to enjoy the apple (or get its nutritional benefits). =)

So don’t be so hard on yourself. You are in charge and YOU decide what’s right for you.

Now if you’re asking yourself, “What should I focus on then, Selena? How do I know when I should follow-through and go the extra mile?” here’s what I’d say:

Focus on the 1 – 2 things that will truly move the needle. Whether it’s the thing that brings in the most cash — or helps you accomplish your most important business goal.

For you that might be:

  • Creating that high-ticket 1:1 offer, with 100% of the profits going into your pocket (even though the “experts” are telling you it’s a bad move to trade dollars for hours)
  • Proactively reaching out to people wanting to work with you, including your past clients, and scheduling a conversation about your latest offer (while ignoring advice about how phone sales aren’t worth your time)
  • Connecting with 5 referral partners who are deeply trusted by your ideal clients (instead of telling yourself, “I must create that new opt-in and get 1,000 new people on my email list!)
  • Perfecting your sales webinar script that will get people to buy (instead of worrying endlessly about whether you should be using Zoom, WebinarJam, or GoToWebinar. I’ve been guilty of that one!)

Once you decide the few things that will make a real difference for your business, go ALL IN!

Make those 1 – 2 things your top priorities, at the expense of everything else. That’s how you’ll win in 2019 and beyond.

I truly hope this message is helpful for you today. I want you to be successful — and sometimes that means ignoring what’s popular or expected. =)

P.S. I’ve shared this on my Facebook business page! I’d *love* to hear your thoughts right here.

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