Posts Categorized: Relationships

Why Expressing Gratitude Matters: 5 ways to say “thank you” to colleagues, mentors, and friends

Posted on by Selena Soo, in 'Empowerment, Relationships'


Photo credit: Stephanie Badini

Photo credit: Stephanie Badini

Have you ever gone above and beyond to help someone? Perhaps you spent two hours on the phone with them offering advice in your area of expertise. Or maybe you connected them to a valuable resource or person to help them with their career, relationship, or health.

Sometimes, you may even rearrange your schedule and cancel existing commitments to help someone during a time of great need. In the moment, the person you are helping may say a quick “thanks!”, but after that you never hear from them again.

This happened to me last year. A colleague who was unemployed reached out to me. She had been job-hunting for months and was stressed out, frustrated, and losing hope. Every day she’d been sending out her resume, but getting no response. She asked for my help, and I ended up connecting her to the president of a major company looking to hire someone just like her. Two months later, she got a senior level position with a 6-figure salary!

I found out about this when she announced her new job on Facebook. While I was excited to hear the news, I felt a little unappreciated and forgotten about. In fact, I only heard from her several months later when she had another favor to ask of me.

This happens all the time. We get busy and forget to thank people for their help. But gratitude is so important. When we forget to thank someone, they feel less motivated to help us again. But when we do thank someone in a thoughtful, heartfelt way, it makes the person feel deeply appreciated and wanting to help you even more.


Here are five specific ways to express gratitude this holiday season and beyond:

1) Send an email.

Just sending a short, thoughtful email is something we all can make the time for. You can make your “thank you” truly felt by the recipient when you share how specifically they have helped you.

As an example, you could say: “It was great to meet you last week! Thank you for recommending that book to me — I bought it right away! I’m already half-way through and it’s amazing. I can already see how I can apply some of these insights to my career.”

Share what impacted and moved you, and the results of putting their advice into action. This allows the recipient to know the difference they have made in your life, which makes the act of giving even more fulfilling to them!

2) Handwritten card or note sent by postal mail.

I heard a statistic recently that nowadays, only 3% of mail is handwritten. The rest is bills or junk mail! The receiver of a beautiful handwritten note or card will feel so special and excited to open up a real piece of thoughtful mail. The fact that you took the time and effort into writing a note by hand and mailing it the old-fashioned way shows someone how much you care.

3) Take them out for a nice lunch or dinner.

Another way to show your gratitude is to take someone out to lunch or dinner. You could reach out and say, “I want to thank you for all the ways you have supported me this year. I would love to take you out to your favorite restaurant. It’s on me!” Many people are too busy for coffee dates in the middle of the day, but taking someone out to a fancy dinner is an unexpected treat that will definitely make you stand out.

4) Thank them publicly.

We all have our own public platforms where we share information — whether it’s Facebook, Twitter, a blog, or a newsletter. You can use any of these platforms to publicly express gratitude towards someone who has made an impact you. I love when someone posts something nice about me on Facebook or promotes one of my articles. Not only does it feel special to get recognized publicly, but you are also introducing the recipient to potential new fans or friends.

5) Send a gift.

Sending a gift is another way to give back to someone who has given to you. A client of mine gave someone who referred a client to her a Starbucks gift card and said, “Coffee is on me for the month.” The person receiving the gift loved that!

Another example is a woman who I’d recently helped who sent me a card, a book, and gorgeous bouquet of flowers. It was such a sweet gesture that made me feel so appreciated. As a result, she is always on my radar, and I want to continue to help her.

And if you don’t know what kind of gift to give, you could ask that person’s friends or even colleagues or assistant. You could say, “I’d like to give Jane a thoughtful gift. What does she like? Here are a few ideas I have.”

This holiday season is the perfect time for you to reach out to the colleagues, clients, mentors, and friends who have made a difference in your life this year, and to tell them exactly how they have done so. 

Now I’d LOVE to hear from you. in the comments below, please share one thoughtful or creative idea on how you are going to give back this holiday season & beyond.

1 Year Business Anniversary Party Photos

Posted on by Selena Soo, in 'Event Alert!, Relationships'

Photo credit: Stephanie Badin

Photo credit: Stephanie Badini

Last night I celebrated my business’ 1-year anniversary at Pranna (one of my favorite lounges in NYC).

We had South Asian inspired hors d’oeuvres and Baked by Melissa cupcakes, plus some great drinks and music!

Thank you to everyone that could make it! And for those who couldn’t come, I hope to connect soon.  Here are some pictures from the night.

1yr anniversary



happy summer + the power of relationships

Posted on by Selena Soo, in 'Relationships'

Photo credit: Stephanie Badini

Hi Friend,

I hope you are enjoying the start of summer! 

It’s been a busy few months for me, and I love that things are finally slowing down.

Last Sunday I was up at Woodstock for my friend Rachel Goldstein’s birthday party,  hosted by Kris Carr (NY Times bestselling author and wellness activist).

Rachel is the founder of Agent of Change (event & marketing agency) and a superconnector in the wellness & personal development space.

When I arrived at the party, I was delighted to find a gourmet feast — mountains of organic food, including dips, veggie burgers, chocolate covered strawberries, and gluten-free cupcakes.

Everything about the event was impressive, but what stood out most to me was the people in the room. 

The party was organized pretty last minute and was in upstate NY, yet it was a full house. Celebrity doctors and yoga instructors, leading media entrepreneurs, and wellness / personal development experts filled the room. People from across the country flew in, just to be there for Rachel on her special day.

It was a great reminder of the power of relationships, because in my eyes there is nothing more important than that. It is the ultimate manifestation of wealth and abundance.

When I help my clients develop their marketing and publicity plans, I always focus on relationships.

I ask them questions such as:

  • Who are the people in your network who are your cheerleaders and supporters?
  • Who are the superconnectors who can open doors for you?
  • Who are the new people you want to meet, and what are the existing relationships you want to cultivate?
Because the truth is, everything we get in life happens through relationship. For example, when I look at my own business, I feel humbled by the generosity of the people in my network. Mentors who advise me when I’m feeling confused, colleagues who refer clients to me, and friends who think of me for speaking and media opportunities.
So many of these opportunities I could have never gotten on my own — it was other people caring about me and advocating for me that made them possible.
So today I have two questions for you —
  • Who are the people you want to cultivate stronger relationships with (business or personal)?
  • How can you be more generous and add more value to these people’s lives? 
Take a moment to think about it, and I’d love to hear what you come up with.  Feel free to leave a comment!


My latest piece on HuffPost! “Is Sheryl Sandberg the New Gloria Steinem?”

Posted on by Selena Soo, in 'Empowerment, Relationships'

Photo credit: Stephanie Badini

I’m very passionate about women’s rights and freedom.

In high school, I would read feminist classics such as The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf and The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan. In college, 90% of the papers I wrote were about women’s issues.

In the work I do today, I help women entrepreneurs with a powerful message increase their visibility and amplify their impact. As I’ve found in life, everything always comes full circle.

I was fortunate enough to get my hands on an advance copy ofSheryl Sandberg’s new book Lean Inwhich was officially released last MondayAs I was reading the book, I could help but think that Sheryl has become the new “It Girl” for modern feminism. The Gloria Steinem of our generation.

I wrote a piece for The Huffington Post about this topic. I’ve included an excerpt below and you can read more at this link.

I hope you enjoy it!

Is Sheryl Sandberg the New Gloria Steinem?

Who is Sheryl Sandberg?

* Facebook’s Chief Operating Officer

* The 10th most powerful woman in the world, according to Forbes

* A loving mother who leaves the office at 5:30pm to have dinner with her kids

* A Harvard MBA who graduated with highest distinction

* Oprah’s friend

Many young women such as myself find this very inspirational. Sheryl Sandberg has become the new “It Girl” for modern feminism. She appears to embody the American woman’s dream of having it all.

In the 1970s Gloria Steinem was the awe-inspiring leader of the women’s movement. I believe that Sheryl Sandberg is taking on that role today. People want to hear what she has to say. Her TED Talk has been viewed more than 2 million times.

Furthermore, working side-by-side with Mark Zuckerberg at technology darling Facebook is the equivalent of what Gloria Steinem did in the 1970s when she started her own successful magazine: the ultimate professional achievement.

Young women are eager for more female role models and Sheryl Sandberg is our role model of choice. She’s our most passionate advocate. She wants to help us find success and satisfaction in both our careers and personal lives.

So when Sheryl Sandberg tells us to “lean in,” we’re listening.

What exactly does it mean to lean in?

Leaning in is the opposite of stepping back.

Sheryl observed that many young women turn down leadership and career-advancing opportunities because they want to become mothers one day. They want to have a life outside of work. They want to have balance.

These women may be in their early 20s (or even teenagers for that matter), but they are already limiting their career choices based on a vision of the life they want for themselves — 10, 20, or even 30 years into the future. Sheryl believes that because women are pre-emptively stepping back, that’s the reason why we have not made it to the top of any profession, anywhere in the world. It’s a pattern we need to reverse.

Read the full article here on The Huffington Post.

Want to share this article? I would love that!
Here are some ready-to-go tweets.

  • Is @sherylsandberg the new @gloriasteinem? Here’s what @selenasoo has to say on @HuffPostWomen #leanin
  • Is @sherylsandberg the new “It Girl” for modern feminism? (cc: @HuffPostWomen @selenasoo) #leanin
  • Can women really have it all? Read about @sherylsandberg’s surprising answer #leanin (cc: @selenasoo @HuffPostWomen)
  • Why do young women love @sherylsandberg? @selenasoo, @HuffPostWomen contributor, explains: #leanin

Top 3 Ways to Love Yourself This Valentines Day

Posted on by Selena Soo, in 'Relationships, Self-care'

Hi friends!

I’m excited to introduce you to the Self-Love Tour, created by my friends Ali Leipzig and Natalie Berthold.

Learn more about this bi-weekly web tv series by clicking on the image below. You can also enjoy a special guest post by Ali & Natalie directly below.


On Valentine’s Day, it’s so easy to get caught up in fear-based thinking. If you are single, you can get down on yourself for not being in a relationship and you start thinking that you aren’t good enough. No good! And if you are in a relationship, it’s easy to focus on the things that are wrong in the relationship because you put way too much pressure on your love to give you everything you need. Also no good!

Well, this year, we want you to think about how you can love yourself up. When you love yourself first, you are able to love that much more in your relationship, connect with others on a deeper level, and be more open to attract the love that you desire. The more you love yourself, the more love.

Here are our top 3 ways to bring more self-love into your life:

  • Treat Yourself To Something Nice. Buy yourself a dozen roses, cook yourself a beautiful meal, get a massage, draw a bath and simmer in some rose-scented bubbles for a few.
  • Create a Love Yo’Self List. Make a list of everything you love about yourself. Include it all. You love your butt? Awesome. You love how great a listener you are? Amazing.
  • Spend QT (Quality Time) With You. In order to love yourself more, you need to get to know yourself better. Spend some time with just you- journal, meditate, take yourself for a walk, go window shopping. Whatever it is, make a conscious connection with yourself and have fun!

We have seen miracles when women start loving themselves. Careers blossom, relationships deepen, and health and happiness became a priority. Because we know the importance of self-love, we are so excited to share with you our webTV series where you will actually be able to see and discover fun ways to show yourself love. Visit to learn more!

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